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Meet Sarah

- I have a younger brother called Jake who lives with his dad

- My best friend is Charlie, my dog. He's a Cavoodle

- I love reading books and writing in my journals

- My favourite colour is pink

- I'm 12 years old in May

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My Story...

Did you know books have been around forever? Everyone thinks I love books more than anything, but what I really love is how they help me forget about stuff for a while.
 

Except Charlie.

Charlie is my best friend. She actually belongs to Kathy, but Kathy said Charlie could be mine, so now we do everything together.
 

This June, it will be eight years since I came to live with my carer, Kathy. Before that, I lived in lots of different houses with my mum, and then in several foster homes.

I really like living here. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe it’s my forever home, because people have said that before and I didn’t get to stay. Kathy says this is my forever home until I’m grown up.
 

I hope she’s right.

It feels safe here, and for the first time, I don’t have to worry about the things I used to.

Feelings & Themes...

Anxiety • Felt Safety • Fear • Trust

Focus: PTSD-informed anxiety, hypervigilance, people-pleasing, and learning safety over time.

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A note to readers...

For children like Sarah, life in Out of Home Care is often shaped by anxiety rather than visible distress.

Sarah may appear calm, helpful, and eager to please. She is often described as kind, responsible, and “no trouble at all.” But this presentation can hide a nervous system that is constantly scanning for danger.

Underneath the surface, Sarah lives with fear—fear of being moved again, fear of getting it wrong, fear of becoming attached and losing someone she loves. Safety doesn’t feel guaranteed. It feels temporary.
 

How anxiety and trauma can feel

Children like Sarah may experience:

  • Ongoing anxiety in unfamiliar places, schools, or during separations

  • A strong need to please in order to feel accepted or safe

  • Low self-esteem and quiet sadness

  • Deep fear of rejection, abandonment, or loss

  • Difficulty trusting that relationships will last

  • Confusion when receiving affection—wanting closeness but not knowing if it’s safe

  • A sense of disconnection from their own feelings and needs
     

How this shows up

Anxiety and trauma often appear in subtle ways. Children may:

  • Stay quiet, compliant, or overly responsible

  • Struggle to speak up or ask for help

  • Become overly attached and seek constant reassurance

  • Find change, uncertainty, or strong emotions overwhelming

  • Avoid trying new things due to fear of failure or getting hurt

  • Be vulnerable to bullying or mistreatment because of their need to please

  • Pull away from affection, even while longing for connection
     

These behaviours are not manipulation or weakness. 

They are survival strategies shaped by fear.
 

What helps Sarah feel safe

Children like Sarah don’t need pressure to “be brave.”
They need felt safety—experienced over time, not explained once.

Support means:

  • A calm, predictable, and carefully planned approach

  • Gentle reassurance, repeated often and without frustration

  • Clear explanations about what is happening and what will stay the same

  • Patience when trust takes time to grow

  • Understanding that attachment may come in small, hesitant steps
     

When children feel emotionally safe, anxiety slowly loosens its grip. 

And when safety is consistent, trust becomes possible.

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